For many of us who survived abuse, neglect, or manipulation, the concept of “boundaries” may feel foreign—maybe even scary. You might have grown up i
For many of us who survived abuse, neglect, or manipulation, the concept of “boundaries” may feel foreign—maybe even scary.
You might have grown up in an environment where your “no” was punished.
Where your needs were called selfish.
Where silence, over giving, and shrinking yourself was praised as love.
So if you’re only just now learning how to say:
“That makes me uncomfortable.”
“I need time to think.”
“I can’t take that on right now.”
“Please don’t speak to me like that.”
You’re not failing.
You’re healing.
🌱 The Early Days of Boundary-Setting Feel Messy
Let’s be honest: Setting boundaries doesn’t always feel empowering at first.
It can feel like guilt.
Like second-guessing yourself.
Like being afraid you’re being “mean.”
Like wondering if they’ll walk away… and if that means you did something wrong.
But here’s the truth:
When you’ve spent years being disrespected, being respected can feel uncomfortable.
That discomfort? It’s not a sign to stop.
It’s a sign that you’re doing something new.
And new things take practice.
💡 What Helps in the Beginning
Start with small boundaries. Say no to a text that can wait. Say yes to resting instead of explaining.
Practice your words out loud. In the mirror, in the car, with a trusted friend or journal.
Hold your boundary gently but firmly. You don’t have to defend or explain it. You can just say it.
Expect resistance—from others and even from yourself. That’s normal when you’re growing.
Celebrate each boundary you set. Even if it feels awkward. Even if your voice shakes. It counts.
🌺 Gentle Affirmations for Boundary-Setters
It is not selfish to protect my peace.
I can be kind and still say no.
My needs matter. My comfort matters.
Every time I set a boundary, I teach people how to respect me.
My voice deserves to be heard—even if it trembles.
I release the need to make everyone else comfortable at my expense.
I am allowed to grow into the person I needed when I was younger.
Boundaries are love. Boundaries are truth. Boundaries are freedom.
There is no “perfect” way to set boundaries.
There is only your way.
Your pace.
Your truth.
And the more you do it, the more your body will begin to understand:
I am safe now. I don’t have to give myself away to be worthy of love.
🕊️ Keep going. You’re doing sacred work.
[survivoraffirmations.com]
