To grow up with people who gardened and made preserves was to know that things of nature require protection and care. GenX played outside a lot, but w
To grow up with people who gardened and made preserves was to know that things of nature require protection and care. GenX played outside a lot, but we also knew where not to play. Where not to play kickball: Because if the ball rolled into some spaces, you were not getting your ball back. Gardens were like that.
There is wisdom in understanding that a garden does not survive by accident.
A garden survives because someone tends the soil. Someone protects the roots. Someone notices what threatens the growth. Someone understands that what is precious requires care.
Human beings are no different.
A woman’s access to safety, privacy, healing, community, and spaces where she can breathe freely is not a luxury. It is part of preserving life.
Too often, women are asked to explain why they need protection. They are asked to prove why a boundary exists. They are asked to carry the burden of everyone else’s comfort while their own peace is treated as negotiable. Some women pull back from dating because of this. Gone are the gentleman who courted a woman. Proved that they were safe first. Now we have romantic suitors asking, “Why not?” Wondering why they aren’t “given” what they want.
A woman’s need for protected access to certain spaces—her heart, her mind, her home, her body—is not a rejection of compassion. It is an acknowledgment that compassion without wisdom can become neglect.
A woman who has survived violence does not need a society that says:
“Your safety matters, but only until someone else wants access.”
She needs a society that understands:
“Your life has value. Your body has dignity. Your ability to breathe freely matters.”
It always has mattered.
We live in a world where debates around data centers are more hotly contested than women’s need for safety.
But sacred things require stewardship.
Across many African spiritual traditions, the village, the elder, the healing space, the land, and the waters that sustain life are treated with reverence because life depends on honoring what gives life.
Natural creations were not created to exist without great care.
Scripture teaches us to guard what gives life:
“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”
Proverbs 4:23
Safety is cultivated.
It is planted through wisdom.
It is watered through compassion.
It is protected through boundaries.
A woman’s access to safety is not a privilege granted by someone else’s comfort.
It is part of the dignity she was born with.
Sometimes the gate is the reason the garden survives.
You are allowed to seek spaces where your spirit can breathe.
You are allowed to protect the life and breath entrusted to you.
You are allowed to believe that safety is not selfish.
Safety is sacred.
Protection is not the opposite of love. Sometimes protection is love expressed through wisdom.
A sanctuary is not unloving because it has a door.
A garden is not cruel because it has a fence or a gate.
The gate is often the reason the garden survives.
Women deserve spaces where they are not constantly bracing, explaining, defending, or proving their humanity.
They deserve places where their bodies are treated with dignity.
Where their voices are heard.
Where their safety is considered before someone’s desire for access.
Peace is not created by pretending every space is safe.
Peace is cultivated. Safety is cultivated. Trust is cultivated.
A woman’s ability to flourish should never depend on whether others believe her need for protection is reasonable.
The Creator did not make human beings to live without refuge.
There is holiness in rest.
There is wisdom in boundaries.
There is love in protection.
Your safety is not selfish.
Your boundaries are not cruelty.
Your peace is not something you have to apologize for protecting.
A garden that is cared for can bloom.
Much like a rose, a woman who is safe can flourish.