We had a toddler visit us and I forgot what it was like.

I accidently sat on Mickey (the stuffed animal) and she acted like I killed him dead.

I turned the channel because I wasn’t used to her being there so I picked up my remote and turned to my channel and she went off.

We were in the car. No Wifi in some spots. No Youtube videos. Another tantrum. 

Sing her song when she doesn’t want you to sing it. Tantrum.

But those are babies. They just got here. You give them love, snacks, a nap, time alone, or a juice box and they reset. 

We should be embarrassed as a country that words of kindness are a “breaking viral news” moment. Thankfully, women like Lynn Jones are a standard in my culture. Wind beneath our weary wings. 

As it so happens this conversation grabbed me. My bachelors degree is in Organizational Management and Development-it is a degree that helps businesses to see people are every businesses greatest asset. For all the complaints about AI, what Lynn Jones did is what no machine can do without the aid of a human being.

She read the room. She read the person. She was human. She was humane. 

We’ve all seen these “journalists” being intentionally cruel. Who was that that asked the player who just lost his parent or grandparent where he was spending Thanksgiving knowing full well he just lost them? The player immediately zoned out. 

Not only did Coach Liam Coen need that, the country needed that. The calls against “unprofessional” behavior are telling on “professionalism”. You’re telling us that it was never meant to be humane. That it is simply a gatekeeper against human beings and their natural human behavior. Exposed.

And to the women journalists….but for women like Lynn Jones daring to step across lines that never made sense in first place, none of you would be where you are nor wearing what you get to wear.

 If you can only perform your job exactly as you were “trained” and “taught”, you are easily replaceable.

-Tonya GJ Prince

In many spaces, “professionalism” is spoken of as virtue.

Calm.
Controlled.
Polished.
Contained.

But Survivors learn something early:

Sometimes professionalism is not about care.
It is about distance.

It can become a shield people use to avoid:

• sitting with pain
• acknowledging harm
• witnessing truth
• or feeling what has already cost someone dearly to survive

And this lands hardest on the same people again and again:

• Black women, women across the Black diaspora, women from many Asian cultures, and other women whose cultures taught them to carry pain quietly, where emotional restraint is often mistaken for strength and silence is mistaken for maturity 
• neurodivergent people
• Survivors who still have a living nervous system
• Survivors who dare to feel out loud

When we speak plainly.
When our voices carry memory.
When our bodies respond honestly.
When our emotions do not arrive in tidy paragraphs.

We are told:

“Tone it down.”
“Be more professional.”
“Be objective.”
“Be easier to digest.”

But what they often mean is:

Make your humanity smaller so others can stay comfortable.

Even in Survivor spaces.

Especially there.

And that can cut deeper than silence.

Because healing was never meant to require emotional erasure.
Safety was never meant to demand numbness.
Truth was never meant to be filtered through someone else’s tolerance.

So here is your reminder:

Your feelings are not a flaw.
Your nervous system is not an inconvenience.
Your honesty is not unprofessional.

You do not have to sand down your soul to be taken seriously.

You do not have to become quiet to be worthy of care.

You do not have to perform calm to deserve safety.

Some people use “professionalism” to hide from their own unfinished healing.

You are not required to join them there.

You are allowed to be whole.

You are allowed to be seen.

You are allowed to feel — even in rooms that forgot how.

And you are still dignified.
Still wise.
Still credible.
Still sacred.

**And some of these critics have zero empathy of women being punched in the face by men declaring themselves to women, no regard for girls losing to boys or men. So empathy and courage is not their strong muscle. This opens a much needed conversation about how cruel journalists have been to players. Serena, Venus, and others. Empathy and compassion has been lacking for a very long time.

**Speaking of Venus and Serena, they have been telling us the name of the game in sports journalism is to be cruel to athletes since they were children (through their father). Lynn Jones broke that toy and now you see tantrums that outrank toddlers by far.

<p>The post Gratitude to the Humanity of Lynn Jones: When “Professionalism” Is Used as a Shield first appeared on Survivor Affirmations.</p>

Now all those years watching Soul Train and I did not make this connection when MC Hammer, who I am a huge fan of, came out. Watch Tamechi make the connection around the 13 minute mark. You realize that you saw the amazing outfits on Soul Train. You saw the iconic looks on Hammer. And you never made the connection.

Where are these man’s awards? Is he in the Fashion Hall of Fame? Because THIS look was one of THE top iconic looks of that time and he created it. One of my relatives even wore an ensemble that my grandmother made that took a bit of inspiration from this look when she sang in the school talent show.

An unsung fashion LEGEND.

Sidebar….how is MTV pretending to be at a loss for content with all this unsung history running around?

Tamechi Toney-Briggs credited in multiple interviews and retrospectives as the designer who created the look we now call MC Hammer pants — long before they became mainstream. He was styling, innovating, experimenting, and shaping silhouettes in ways that were bold, theatrical, and deeply rooted in Black performance culture.

And here’s the part people forget:

Soul Train wasn’t just dancers.

It was:

• stylists

• hair artists

• makeup visionaries

• seamstresses and designers

• culture-makers behind the scenes

Black LGB artists were right there — dreaming, sewing, styling, choreographing, shaping.

Like too many of their peers from this time, they rarely got credit.
But they helped build the look.
They helped build the vibe.
They helped build the boldness.

And yes — many of them were unsung.

Soul Train was a sanctuary of creativity

For so many gay Black men Soul Train was one of the few spaces where:

• flamboyance wasn’t punished

• confidence wasn’t mocked

• style could be extra and still celebrated

• movement could be fluid, expressive, free

What the world later called “fashion trends” or “new style” often came straight from them.

Hammer pants.
Slouch socks.
Dramatic jackets.
Hair sculpting.
Accessories that made the outfit come alive.

They were remixing fashion the way DJs remix sound.

And they did it while navigating:

• homophobia

• racism

• class barriers

• being told their gifts “didn’t matter”

• the government ignoring, dismissing, and minimizing their health concerns and dying friends and family (I have gay and bisexual family that I pray is resting in peace)

That’s courage.

This is why remembering matters

When we leave gay and lesbian Black artists out of the story,
we flatten culture into something safe and sanitized.

But the truth is:

Black culture has always included queer brilliance.
Black style has always included queer innovation.
Black performance has always been shaped by LGB creativity.

And yes — many of those innovators came through Soul Train.

They deserve their flowers.

Not later.
Not after another documentary.
Now.

The bigger message

When you see someone dismissed because people think:

“that’s just fashion”
“that’s just dance”
“that’s just personality”

remember:

Visionaries rarely look “important” in the moment.

But their fingerprints end up on everything.

Just like Tamechi Toney-Briggs.
Just like those Soul Train stylists and dancers.
Just like the LGB creatives who lifted entire eras of music and style — and didn’t get named.

Your gifts may not always be recognized right away either.

Still — create.
Still — innovate.
Still — shine.

Because legacy has a way of surfacing truth over time.

**As you watch this video, do you not love how he kept evolving and doing what was right for him?

<p>The post Soul Train Dancer Tamechi Toney Briggs Influenced A Generation & Created Infamous MC Hammer Pants first appeared on Survivor Affirmations.</p>

They were artists.

People sometimes talk about Soul Train like it was simply a place to party.

But look closer.

Those dancers were:

• choreographers

• stylists

• storytellers

• physical poets

• visual creators

They shaped the camera.
They shaped the music.
They shaped the entire feeling of an era.

Every spin.
Every glide.
Every pop of the shoulder or flick of the wrist…

It was intentional.

It was art.

They weren’t paid like celebrities.
They didn’t get long contracts or big honors.

Yet they stepped out on that line like the world was watching — because it was —
and they delivered.

That takes courage.
That takes vision.
That takes self-belief.

And the culture followed them.

Enter Vivica A. Fox: A master class in showing up

When you look at Vivica Fox’s career, you see the exact same spirit.

From small roles to starring roles,
from comedy to drama,
from action to talk shows —

If the camera was on, she was on.

No halfway.
No dimming herself.
No apologizing for presence.

Vivica isn’t simply “working.”

She performs.
She commands space.
She brings respect to whatever room she steps into.

That is the Soul Train lineage:

📌 Wherever you place me — I will rise, I will shine, I will give you excellence.

Not because it’s easy.

But because honoring your gift matters.

A message for Survivors

There are times in life when trauma, shame, or other people’s opinions try to convince you to shrink.

To stay quiet.
To stay small.
To fade into the wall.

But Soul Train dancers didn’t hide.

Vivica Fox didn’t hide.

They didn’t wait for perfect conditions.
They didn’t wait for everyone to applaud.

They said:

“If I’m here — I’m going to show up in my fullness.”

And that’s the message:

Never miss your opportunity to show up and show out.

Not loud for attention.
Not to prove anything.

But because:

• your creativity deserves air

• your joy deserves room

• your presence deserves to take up space

You do not need permission to shine.

You simply need to honor the light that’s already inside you.

Your life is your stage — and you are worthy of standing in the center

When you walk into a room,
when you speak truth,
when you create something beautiful,
when you laugh out loud,
when you choose healing —

That is art.

That is courage.

That is legacy.

Let the world say what it wants.

Like those Soul Train dancers.
Like Vivica A. Fox.

Show up.

Show out.

And trust that your brilliance belongs here.

<p>The post Vivica A. Fox: A master class in showing up and showing out from her days on Soul Train first appeared on Survivor Affirmations.</p>

 I was in front of my television nearly every Saturday morning and pouted when I couldn’t be. Because why do Saturday morning errands have to run over and make me miss Soul Train?

Then at some point, my local television station would run that day’s episode back late at night or maybe late Sunday afternoon if you were lucky.

I wasn’t alone. People across various races, ethnicities, and ages were doing the same thing even if we didn’t talk about it together.

So, let’s talk about Soul Train — not as nostalgia, but as legacy, genius, and cultural leadership. Because those dancers were not just “having fun on television.”
They were innovators. Stylists. Athletes. Choreographers. Cultural architects.

And they made it look effortless — which is exactly why too many people underestimated the brilliance.

Soul Train: Where movement became language

Week after week, Black dancers brought their full selves to that stage:

• rhythm layered on rhythm
• footwork that defied gravity
• style that felt like freedom
• personality that spoke louder than words

They didn’t wait for permission.
They didn’t ask for validation.

They shaped:

fashion (we tried to wear the clothes that they wore)

music trends

hair styles 

how we move at weddings, clubs, cookouts, and celebrations even today 

Artists came on Soul Train hoping to be accepted by the dancers — because if the dancers loved your sound, the culture followed.

That’s power.

And yet — like so much Black brilliance — it was often framed as “fun,” “natural,” “just dancing.”

No.

It was training without trainers.
Choreography without credit.
Discipline without applause.

They paid their own way.
They practiced for hours.
They created moves that later got copied, monetized, and studied — while many of their names were left out of history.

They were leaders.

When excellence looks “easy,” people forget the work

This is where it connects back to you.

When you carry something with grace —
when you move with skill —
when your voice, presence, creativity, or wisdom flows…

People can dismiss it.

“Of course she can do that.”
“That’s just natural.”
“That’s not a real skill.”

They get comfortable with your labor.
They get used to your brilliance.

And suddenly:

• your gifts become “expected”
• your genius becomes “ordinary”
• your effort disappears behind the shine

But what Soul Train shows us is this:

Just because something is done beautifully does NOT mean it was easy.

Just because you make it look smooth does not mean it did not cost time, strength, courage, and soul.

The dancers were unsung — but not unseen

In the years to come, we cannot allow their legacy to be minimized for anyone’s comfort.

We will not:

• let their artistry be written off as “cute”
• pretend they weren’t pioneers
• ignore how they expanded culture, joy, and possibility

They deserve the same respect given to classical dancers, choreographers, and performance artists — because they were all of that.

They owned the floor.
They owned their bodies.
They owned their creativity.

And they built a path many others are still walking.

And you — your gifts deserve that same honor

Whatever your gift is:

• storytelling
• organizing
• caregiving
• spiritual insight
• leadership
• artistic creation
• survival wisdom
• innovation

It matters.

You do not have to shrink so others feel relaxed.
You do not have to dull your shine so others don’t feel threatened.

The dancers didn’t tone themselves down.
They didn’t apologize for being great.

They danced like the world needed that light —
because it did.

And so do you.

Your gifts are brilliant.

Let them shine.
Let them stretch.
Let them lead.

History will remember those who dared to move freely —
and you are part of that lineage.

**There is a difference between Studio54 and Soul Train. Two entirely different entities. Soul Train was a legendary cultural experience that ran on television for 36 years. There will never be another. Respect.

**Note, it is unlikely that these dancers were “high” on anything but the music, the fashion, and vibe which they always knew was special. The producers ran a tight ship.

<p>The post Soul Train: Where art became cross-cultural language first appeared on Survivor Affirmations.</p>

📅  1964: During a tour of South Africa, she refused to perform for segregated audiences under the country’s apartheid laws. Rather than do separate shows for Black and white audiences, she insisted on integrated audiences. Far Out Magazine

🚫 South African authorities responded: Because she would not comply with apartheid rules about race and performance, she and her band were ordered to leave the country and were deported before completing their planned shows. Far Out Magazine+1

In other words, her deportation wasn’t a punishment for being from another country. Instead, it was because she took a stand against racial segregation by insisting on performing before mixed crowds—a stance the government at the time did not allow. Far Out Magazine

Ok so she was just bad! And yes, we knew it.

There are moments when doing the right thing does not lead to applause.
It leads to resistance.
It leads to consequences.
It leads to being asked—or forced—to leave.

This can be deeply confusing for Survivors.

We are often taught that if we are kind enough, quiet enough, talented enough, or compliant enough, we will be allowed to stay.
That goodness will protect us.
That excellence will shield us.

History tells a more honest story.

Sometimes you are removed not because you failed—but because you refused to participate in harm.

Sometimes your “no” exposes a system that depends on silence.
Sometimes your presence disrupts rules that were never meant to be just.
Sometimes your refusal makes it impossible for others to pretend.

And when that happens, the system does what systems often do:
It pushes you out instead of changing itself.

For Survivors, this can echo familiar pain:

• Being excluded after speaking truth

• Being punished for setting boundaries

• Being labeled “difficult” for refusing to comply

• Being told you could have stayed if you had just gone along

Let this be said gently and clearly:

Removal is not always rejection.
Sometimes it is confirmation.

It confirms that your values are intact.
It confirms that your humanity is awake.
It confirms that you chose alignment over approval.

You do not have to stay in places that require you to betray yourself.
You do not have to accept access that is conditional on silence.
You do not have to earn belonging by shrinking.

Affirmation

I honor myself when I refuse harm.
I trust my conscience even when it costs me.
I am not wrong for choosing dignity over comfort.
If I am asked to leave a space that depends on injustice, I leave with my integrity whole.
I am allowed to stand where truth stands.

— Survivor Affirmations

<p>The post Sometimes Integrity Gets You Removed: And That Doesn’t Mean You Were Wrong first appeared on Survivor Affirmations.</p>

Not pretty enough? Tsk. My mind can’t even take that in? She’s super gorgeous still and always will be but go watch Kramer v. Kramer and see what foolish comment this was. 

He looked at me, then turned to his son and said in Italian: “Why did you bring me this ugly thing?”

I understood every word. The audition was for King Kong.

And that moment felt like a punch straight to the stomach.

I had just arrived in Hollywood, full of hope, and one of the most influential producers—Dino De Laurentiis—decided I wasn’t worthy of the big screen. Not beautiful enough. Not good enough.

And for a second… I almost believed him. Those cruel words nearly made me walk out, abandon the room, and abandon my dream.

I thought: If the most powerful man here thinks this of me, who am I to disagree? But instead of breaking down or running away, I looked him in the eye and answered back in perfect Italian: “Sorry to disappoint you.”

I took that humiliation and turned it into fuel.

Today, I have more than twenty Oscar nominations. Physical beauty fades. Persistence and talent do not. Never let a small man’s opinion define the size of your dream. What someone else calls a flaw may become the mark that makes you unforgettable.

—  Meryl Streep

I am built from endurance, not approval. What lasts in me cannot be taken by time or opinion.

<p>The post Meryl Streep: I AM Built from Endurance Not Approval first appeared on Survivor Affirmations.</p>

I am growing beyond symbols.

Photo by K Studios

Beyond badges, titles, memberships, and borrowed names.

What once helped me find my footing no longer defines my depth.

I honor the seasons when I needed belonging to survive.
I honor the names I wore while learning who I was.
And now, I am learning to stand without adornment—
rooted, steady, unafraid of my own presence.

I do not need permission to be whole.
I do not need a label to be valid.
My integrity speaks before my résumé ever could.

I am becoming fluent in substance.
In how I show up when no one is watching.
In how I treat people who cannot offer me access, applause, or advantage.

I release the urge to be recognized.
I choose instead to be aligned.

My values walk ahead of me.
My character leaves a trail.
My spirit knows when something is true—
even when it carries no flag.

I am no longer impressed by proximity to power.
I am moved by quiet courage.
By consistency.
By those who remain human when no one is keeping score.

I trust the inward work.
I trust the slow shedding.
I trust the version of me that does not need to announce itself.

I am becoming simpler.
And in that simplicity, I am becoming vast.

<p>The post An Affirmation for Growing Beyond the Outer Markers first appeared on Survivor Affirmations.</p>

<p>The post Inner Pondering| Signs You’re Outgrowing People on Your Spiritual Path | Letting Go with Grace first appeared on Survivor Affirmations.</p>

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<p>The post Holistically Rah | Why the Closest People Sabotage Your Healing (And What to Do About It) first appeared on Survivor Affirmations.</p>

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